If any of the personifications of the midwinter festival, Santas or rich people with nothing better to do with their money happen to be listening, either or both of the above would be acceptable come December 25th.

Failing that, if any of my relatives are reading, it’ll be anything from Poundland and a pair of slippers as usual.

I have been EXTREMELY GOOD in anticipation of the former but have my ‘Oh my God that’s lovely.’ face in reserve for the latter.